Waiting In Line
by Sail Away Mayday
Summary: Unrequited love is the worst. Just ask Emmett.


_Waiting in Line_

The first words Rosalie Hale ever spoke to me were, 'would you like a bag for that?'

I very rarely ventured into the natural health food store that was conveniently a block and half from my apartment. Losing a small bet with one of my roommates had pointed me in that very direction, looking for some wheat-grass-sea-salt-raw-food shit concoction that was sure to entice my gag reflex later.

I was however, ready to give Edward a very large very platonic man kiss for forcing me into this store and into the acquaintance of the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen in my life. She had the most musical lilting voice, and her hair was so blonde, and-

'Sir?' an annoyed voice demanded in front of my, shaking me out of my slightly ridiculous daydreams.

I stole a look at her nametag that promptly and proudly declared that her name was Rosalie and she was here to help my shopping experience. 'Sure. Yep. That'd be good. Rosalie,' I said in a clipped tone, hurriedly remembering to tack her name on the end to show my powers of observation.

She didn't seem to notice, and handed me the bag and merchandise without looking at me again.

I knew she was meant to be with me.

As soon as my feet were on the sidewalk, I whipped out my phone and speed dialled Jasper's number. He's been happily devoted to the same woman for years now, and if anyone could help me out in my current predicament, I knew it would be Jasper. I started walking toward my apartment as the phone rung and connected.

'Emmett?' Jasper's voice betrayed his attempts at sounding as if he hadn't just been occupying Alice's bed.

'Hey, Jasper!' I sounded, excited to have him on the phone, 'I need you to stop doing the horizontal tango with Alice for a while and help me.'

'Emmett, why do you assume you can just call me up and expect me to drop everything?' Jasper hissed, 'and for all you know I'm not with Alice at all!'

A high-pitched indignant squeak in the background disclosed his deceit. I laughed uproariously. 'I sure hope you're with Alice, dude,' I gasped in between my sniggering, 'otherwise you're in deep shit when I tell her you're with some other chick.'

As Jasper cursed loudly, I knew I had won the game sufficiently, and that I could expect him at my front door in approximately fifteen minutes.

'Have fun?' I asked, still smiling broadly, as Jasper threw himself down into on of the chairs in the kitchen.

'You are dead to me,' Jasper fumed, laying his head down on the table.

'It's nice to see you too, buddy,' I said playfully, 'but look, serious stuff, I met a girl.'

Jasper's head rose slowly from the table and he eyed me as if I'd just announced to him that I was pregnant with Kate Winslet's love child. 'And?' Jasper asked matter-of-factly, 'why do you need me? Did your charm suddenly not work?'

I rolled my eyes. 'This is way different, man,' I told him seriously, 'she's the one. I can feel it.'

Jasper looked speechless. And a little dazed. I began to wonder if he was going into shock, and snapped my fingers in front of his face. 'Earth to Jasper. Is anyone alive in there?'

He blinked his eyes and laughed, 'Sorry, man. I'm just a little taken aback. I've never heard you talk about any girl that way. The one? Not that I'm calling you a flagrant man-whore or anything, but I've never heard you talk about a girl being _The One_ before.'

'Jasper. Did you just say "flagrant" in a sentence to me?'

'Don't make fun of my vocabulary, McCarty,' he said, trying to sound dangerous, 'I came all the way out here, just to help you. Respect would be your friend in this situation.'

'First of all, you live two floors down, it was hardly a troublesome trip for you,' I snorted, 'and secondly, I am thankful you're here helping me, but we need to get started with a game plan. No more distractions.'

'Oh my God!' Jasper cried with exasperation, 'what are we? Fourteen and trying to get laid for the first time? Go up to this girl, ask her for her number, call her, and go on a date. It's not exactly rocket science, man.'

I rolled my eyes. I understood his confusion, but he needed to understand that this was not a normal girl. No run of the mill rules or tricks would ever apply to this situation.

Jasper's face went through a series of changes before he settled on gentle understanding and mild shock. 'Wow,' he breathed, 'you really have fallen for this girl, haven't you?'

I nodded, feeling as though I should perhaps be a little embarrassed at how obvious my feelings were. But I also felt my heart constrict slightly at both the excitement I was feeling over Rosalie and the exhilaration that Jasper was sympathetic enough to help me.

Until he promptly laughed so hard that he doubled over and I had to physically restrain myself from punching him.

* * * *

I checked my appearance in the rear-view mirror for the eighth time and cracked my knuckles nervously. The health food store had never looked so appealing before.

Jasper's idea had been both simple and brilliant. He'd pulled Edward away from the two things he cared most about-Bella and the piano-long enough to allow me start my part of the plan.

I began asking in-depth questions about his odd diet. He'd looked at me strangely at first, and then had delighted in prattling on about the joys of veganism.

When Jasper felt I was sufficiently versed in information, he declared me fit to return to the store and converse with Rosalie.

I sighed, trying to quench the anxiety I felt. Then I laughed at myself for acting like a damn teenage girl. This was worse than the first time I'd ever asked a girl out, back in the third grade. I'd not been denied, of course, but somehow this was the most terrifying I'd ever felt.

She didn't look up at all when I entered the small store, even though a bell chimed piercingly above me.

I grinned confidently; sure of exactly what I had planned to say, and convinced that a positive outcome was a certainty. That conviction lasted just long enough for Rosalie to look up from the counter, meet my gaze, and to give me the coldest glare I'd ever received.

I felt my heart freeze completely as I took in the full extent of her malice, and I stuttered for a second as I thought of how to continue.

'Hi,' I began meekly, trying to infuse as much bravado as I could. Even to myself, I sounded ridiculously lame; I couldn't believe I could even find my voice to continue, 'I'm Emmett.'

She lifted her gaze to mine again, and dropped her eyes just as quickly. She never uttered a word as she stared at the counter with an unfocused expression.

It was time to activate Jasper's foolproof and brilliant plan, and as I regained my courageous veneer, I asked, 'so I'm looking for some goat's milk and granola. What are the brands you most recommend? I'm on a vegan, gluten-free diet, if that helps any.'

When Rosalie looked up this time, a fierce look of determination and of stoic indifference showed upon her face. She didn't miss a beat, and replied, 'I don't have the slightest clue what the best brand of anything is. I survive on greasy processed food.'

I gave an internal whoop of victory; Rosalie couldn't be anymore perfect if she tried. Not only was she gorgeous and brimming with a spitfire attitude, but she ate like a real person.

'So when did you want to go out?' I asked, my confidence returning, 'I know this great diner; it'll give you a heart attack just looking at it.'

'Never,' she replied, no longer meeting my gaze. The rack of magazines devoted to organic living were apparently infinitely more exciting now.

I was taken aback, my self-confidence taking an immediate hit. I couldn't let her see the effect she was having on me, so I replied hastily, 'what did you mean by,'

'-Just please, go away,' she cut me off, a quiet, lethal, desperate edge to her voice that I couldn't understood or ignore.

* * * *

'I don't know what to do,' I said dramatically, flopping down on an old armchair to commiserate.

Jasper looked at me with much less sympathy than I felt he should be showing. 'What do you want me to do?' Jasper asked smiling goofily at Alice, who was lying across the couch with her head in his lap.

I made a juvenile retching noise pointedly at the two of them. They glared simultaneously, and I felt marginally guilty. While I put on the display blatantly with the intent to annoy them, secretly I was so jealous of their relationship I could barely think straight.

'Not cool, man,' Jasper said quickly. Alice stuck her tongue out at me and winked. I shook my head, that damn girl knew more than people gave her credit for.

'Okay,' I conceded, 'then what do you think I should do? I'm kinda out of ideas here.'

'Flowers!' Alice chirped, her blue eyes twinkling brightly, 'Girls always love flowers.'

I laughed slightly, and gave Alice a charming smile, 'Thanks, babe. I'll keep that in mind, but I don't think she's the flower type of girl, to be completely honest.'

'Every girl likes flowers,' Alice said serenely, while Jasper ran his fingers through her hair.

'You should listen to her, Em,' Jasper said gently, 'she's the expert.'

Though the look on his face made me sick with envy, and the prospect of being turned down by Rosalie again made me sick with fear, I began compiling lists of flower arrangements in my head.

* * * *

Rosalie Hale did not like flowers, just as I'd expected. I handed her the beautiful bouquet that Bella had helped me pick out, and Rosalie had promptly thrown it away. The only explanation she had offered, as I sat dumbfounded and more certain of her "the one" status than ever, was to reply, 'I thought I made it clear that I didn't want to see you again.'

I couldn't help but be more attracted to her than ever. I knew her attitude would have terrified other guys, the picture in my head of Edward doing this very thing was hysterical, but it just made my more determined. We were so obviously perfect for each other.

I smiled and agreed, 'You did.'

She looked at me and glared, 'Then why the hell are you still here?'

'Because I know that I'm perfect for you.'

'You're absolutely mental. What part of "go away" don't you understand?'

I merely nodded. 'I can wait.'

'God, you're insufferable!' she cried, and turned away from me before quietly adding, 'just go _away_.'

I gave in this time, deciding that perhaps my plan would take longer than expected; I was very good at being patient.

In the meantime, I would go and bother Jasper some more. He was always fun to harass on an off day.

* * * *

'What do I do? How long is this going to take?' I whined to Jasper for what felt like the seventy-fifth time.

He looked up from the history textbook he was engrossed in and glowered. 'Why are you here, whining about this, again?'

'Because it sucks,' I continued whining, 'I don't know why it isn't working.'

Jasper set down his book gently, and gazed at me with such a strange look that I felt immediately suspicious. Whatever he was going to tell me was something I wasn't going to like. 'I went down to the health food store the other day,' he began hesitantly.

'Oh? Alice sent you, huh?' I started babbling, 'she's into the super healthy too? Those two are the most twintastic twins ever.'

Jasper laughed a small laugh, but it didn't reach his entire face. 'Yeah, her and Edward are extraordinarily close aren't they?'

'In every way but appearance,' I agreed, smirking slightly.

'Which is good for me,' Jasper continued, doing his half-laugh again. I tried to start talking again, but Jasper interrupted me smoothly, softly saying, 'Emmett, I think she's seriously fucked up in the head. Maybe you should back off a little.'

* * * *

I was relieved to feel the tingle of fall creeping into the air as I made my way down the deserted street.

I had skipped the flowers, skipped the chocolates, and had just dressed my best and poured on the charm. I was done asking for advice and done listening to the theories of everyone else; it was time to do things my way.

I'd start by going to her house and extending an invitation to the local car show. I had a feeling Rosalie could appreciate a good car.

I had bribed one of the other employees at the health food store to give me Rosalie's address, and I alternated my gaze between the tiny piece of paper and the apartment buildings I was passing.

The Velvet Underground song that I had stuck in my head made me smile to myself. I couldn't have imagined a better tone to the evening. A light turning on in a third floor room caught my attention, and I brought the scrap of paper back to my focus. My grin was overwhelming when I realised that the numbers on the paper and the numbers on the old, decrepit brick building matched up perfectly.

Before I could launch myself into action and onto her doorstep, I took a deep breath and mentally prepared myself. I pulled the car show brochure out of my pocket and started into the building and up the stairs.

I could hear raucous music from one apartment, and the sounds of two people having a little too much nocturnal fun in another, but I kept walking up the steps looking for the right door. I was sure that everything that had happened since I had first laid eyes on her was pointing in a positive direction. I just knew that I had needed to figure out the right approach for Rosalie; she was too unique for anything else.

As I knocked on her front door, I knew that I had found the approach that would show her how crazy I was about her. I knew we were destined for something great. I already couldn't stop grinning. She was my future.

Which is why when the door swung open; I found it so strange to be staring into the empty black barrel of a shotgun.

**Author's Note-**

**Bet you didn't see that coming, did you? **

**I own absolutely nothing. And I want to thank MrsKatyCullen for being such a great beta and getting this read in expert time.**

**Send a review and let me know what you think!**


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